we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
