Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.

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  (760): she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door. http://tfl.nu/tltu
  Replies (24) Good night (1845) Bad night (4181)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.

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  (612): and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me. http://tfl.nu/2uzy
  Replies (21) Good night (841) Bad night (6616)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

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  (905): MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. http://tfl.nu/mzwz
  Replies (40) Good night (5462) Bad night (1570)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

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  (763): there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread. http://tfl.nu/qy40
  Replies (35) Good night (1954) Bad night (8710)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  that's what penises do

  (254): View more from Texas

  they tell lies.

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  (254): that's what penises do (254): they tell lies. http://tfl.nu/si8y
  Replies (14) Good night (4755) Bad night (1422)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?

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  (336): Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep? http://tfl.nu/earn
  Replies (9) Good night (3656) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.

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  (417): I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it. http://tfl.nu/weos
  Replies (10) Good night (908) Bad night (4368)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.

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  (770): Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed. http://tfl.nu/nhyv
  Replies (2) Good night (1871) Bad night (544)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.

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  (773): It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11. http://tfl.nu/euda
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (388)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.

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  (512): Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss. http://tfl.nu/t3a0
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away

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  (585): I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away http://tfl.nu/yv3a
  Replies (2) Good night (290) Bad night (545)
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  (718): View more from New York

  You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.

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  (718): You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning. http://tfl.nu/qv31
  Replies (3) Good night (874) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.

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  (815): also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up. http://tfl.nu/48dn
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (257)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.

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  (302): I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats. http://tfl.nu/iukq
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?

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  (714): I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve? http://tfl.nu/wdxs
  Replies (1) Good night (632) Bad night (284)

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