Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.

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  (614): Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong. http://tfl.nu/lm91
  Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (1037)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet

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  (319): i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet http://tfl.nu/p6vj
  Replies (12) Good night (651) Bad night (3363)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.

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  (847): Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called. http://tfl.nu/lgas
  Replies (21) Good night (3275) Bad night (863)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  god i miss watching you do this...

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  (612): so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim.. (507): god i miss watching you do this... http://tfl.nu/jwsv
  Replies (16) Good night (5053) Bad night (730)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  That's why Kanye is a gay fish.

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  (606): That's why Kanye is a gay fish. http://tfl.nu/hy3e
  Replies (103) Good night (8403) Bad night (845)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  the diet of an alcoholic...

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  (407): cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks. (1-407): the diet of an alcoholic... http://tfl.nu/3a7v
  Replies (15) Good night (4190) Bad night (698)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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  (330): would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles. http://tfl.nu/usa7
  Replies (27) Good night (2002) Bad night (5731)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.

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  (937): She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life. http://tfl.nu/md1r
  Replies (10) Good night (1636) Bad night (5216)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels

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  (613): you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels http://tfl.nu/5vyu
  Replies (11) Good night (1361) Bad night (3867)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him

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  (319): Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him http://tfl.nu/qb96
  Replies (16) Good night (2236) Bad night (618)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater

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  (506): She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater http://tfl.nu/6nsz
  Replies (15) Good night (513) Bad night (2438)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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  (901): its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages http://tfl.nu/zo01
  Replies (9) Good night (695) Bad night (1222)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.

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  (201): Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics. http://tfl.nu/mn0a
  Replies (6) Good night (863) Bad night (575)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers

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  (859): The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers http://tfl.nu/vamg
  Replies (0) Good night (1799) Bad night (352)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.

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  (780): Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house. http://tfl.nu/7s2y
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (619)

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