Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
