is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
