walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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