I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I FOUND THE LEGS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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