why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
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The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
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Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick