Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
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He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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