Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize