Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit