R you on birth control?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.