i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.