She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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