I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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