I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
there is puke in my bra ... again
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
