note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize