My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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