best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize