I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
