Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize