tell your sister to shave her snatch
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
