the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Hippo gnu deer
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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