So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
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Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
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they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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