it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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