All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Randomize
