There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
