saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My dick has a subreddit
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize