guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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