This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
as a side note pls kill me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
