I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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