do herpes really smell.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
