he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
my poor anus
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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