Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I will be naked everywhere
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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