is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
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You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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