she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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