we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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