I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
