Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
