butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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