Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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