Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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