If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize