i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
