Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
