I should be sponsored by Trojan
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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