so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.