wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.