a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
YAS. BRING CRAB.