Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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