I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize