just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
