I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
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