Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I FOUND THE LEGS
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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