She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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